"A Solution to the Resolution"

By Pastor Bill Clemons |  January 11, 2012

Once long, long ago animals could talk. (Before animal language was unmade, of course. It was unmade because of a certain "snake-in-the-grass" who used his ability to speak, for evil.)

 While that may seem odd to us who have never heard animals really speak, it was not as odd as a certain meeting that once took place on a New Year's Eve long, long ago. It was not so odd because of the menagerie, the strange collection of animals of all kinds – two-footed, four-footed, more-footed flying, crawling, hopping, stomping, scampering, bumping-along, jumping-along kinds. It was not so odd because a group of talking beasts and birds were gathered all together in a large clearing in the forest on a night lit up by the biggest and brightest moon you ever did see. It was not so odd because an old beaver named Jabber seemed to act as emcee or moderator and stood on his hind legs on a large rock that served the purpose of a podium and addressed the gathering.

It was odd because of the topic of conversation. The issue before the crowd was New Year's resolutions. They weren't there to make them. It seems as though everyone there was opposed to them for one reason or another. Animals everywhere were talking excitedly to each other all at once. A fox and a raccoon sympathized over here. Two big burly bears and a crow each offer their version of the controversy over there. Everywhere little groups met and tried to make themselves heard above the din of conversation throughout the clearing that bright night.

Finally, as the noise grew louder and louder as late-comers arrived and joined in, Jabber ascended the podium rock and raised himself up on his haunches. He commanded their attention with loud slaps of his great tail upon the smooth rock. The sound echoed through the clearing quieting even the gabbiest of them all – two middle-aged hens who were cackling not about New Year's resolutions, but about what they would wear to the New Year's Ball, the grandest of all the animal celebrations.

"Ahem,” said Jabber, “attention please. Attention. Please, everyone. You all know why we're gathered here tonight." (He could speak quite well, in spite of a tremendous over-bite.) "There has been considerable discussion about New Year's resolutions. It seems as though most everybody has somethin’ to say about ‘em. I say, most everybody." (I said Jabber was a moderator, not an orater.) "So some of us got together and figured the best thing to do was to air our feelin’s. Especially tonight. So anybody who wants to can stand up and speak up…" But before he could finish his sentence, animals everywhere stood and began chattering and complaining to one another, but all in the general direction of the exasperated Jabber. After considerable slapping of his old tail, order was restored. "I meant one at a time," he said, "so everybody listen while somebody speaks." It wasn't the smoothest run meeting you ever saw, but Robert’s Rules of Order hadn't been invented yet. Besides that, they couldn't read.

So, one by one they began to rise to the occasion of complaining about having to make New Year's resolutions. It really was rather silly, as you will see. Their reasons were not exactly profound.

Jabber addressed Claude Crow, who had risen, and asked, "Claude, are you ag’in making resolutions?" Claude, (who is rather "flighty," so-to-speak) answered, "Yes, Jabber, I sure am. Indeed I am. To be sure. No doubt about it! I don't like resolutions one bit!" "But why, Claude, why?" replied Jabber. "Oh, yes. Why. Well, mainly because I can't spell it!" Claude pronounced and proudly re-perched himself off to one side. "Uh-huh, I see." said Jabber. "Anybody else?"

An old, old rabbit slowly rose to speak. Nearly toothless and deaf, Roy Rabbit addressed the crowd. "Folk," he slowly began, "I never been for fightin’ nor feudin’ in all my born days. And any of those young Whipper-snappers that wants a revolution ought to be shown the business end of the rod, I say!"

"No, Roy," corrected Jabber, "not revolutions, resolutions…" But Roy was oblivious to it all, having worked himself into a tither. His twin brother Ray, and his wife Bunny finally got him calmed down and set down so that others could share their thoughts on this very important issue before them.

Next to speak was a young kangaroo. He didn't just rise to the occasion. You might say he "jumped at the chance." And jump he did. He jumped and jumped and jumped and jumped… mainly because he couldn't be seen behind two big burly bears who set up-right, leaning slightly into each other, and who were fast asleep dreaming of honeycomb and snoring and snorting rather loudly. He jumped too, because he was sure he had the solution to the resolution. Finally getting the attention of Jabber, he was given the floor, er… clearing.

"Go ahead, young fellow," urged Jabber, "speak up."

"I've got it all figured out! I've got it all figured out! I know what we can do!" he said excitedly. "Let's resolve not to resolve anymore!" He was jubilant and sure his solution would meet with the approval of all the other animals. His suggestion didn't exactly meet with the approval of all the other animals. It didn't meet with the approval of some of the animals. In fact, it didn't meet with the approval of anyone. To them it was just another resolution. And right now, they were gathered to disapprove of them.

It was obvious they were getting nowhere. In fact, those were Jabber’s exact words. "Folks," said the old beaver, "it's obvious were getting nowhere. Doesn't anyone have the answer to our problem?" The night was wearing on. It seemed as though they were as far from a solution to the resolution as when they first began. Someone somewhere offered an idea. "How about getting a committee together and let them discuss it and bring back a recommendation to us for approval?" But that idea was turned down. They were smarter than they looked.

So as the night wore on and their patience wore thin, once more they began to turn to each other and mumble and complain and thoroughly discuss the problem of resolutions. It was an unhappy lot. As all the animals were busy talking to each other, a little he-goat, Gertrude Goat’s kid, made his way up to the podium rock and scampered up the sloping backside to whisper in old Jabber’s ear. Soon Jabber began to slap his tail on the rock to quiet everybody down.

"Please, everyone. We've got a speaker that wants to say somethin’. Go ahead Gomer, you just speak right up, son," Jabber said politely to the little kid. Gomer's high little voice was barely audible even with every animal being as quiet as they could. But they all could hear him, and this is what they heard:

"I'm just a little kid and I don't know very much," he began shyly, "but, when our Maker made each of us and told us to multiply and fill the earth and gave us some other instructions, I don't remember Him telling us to make New Year's resolutions…" Several angry animals began shouting and disrupting his speech. "What's that little kid doing up there? We all know kids should be seen and not heard!" they protested. They really weren't so angry at little Gomer as they were at themselves because they hadn't thought of that.

"Quiet! Quiet! Everybody quiet!" demanded Jabber. "He has as much right to be heard as anybody else. Now you all listen and don't interrupt him ag’in." Jabber had become very protective of little Gomer who tried to hide behind the friendly old beaver. "Now, son, you just go right ahead. You tell ‘em what you told me," he encouraged as he pushed him out in front of him.

"W – w - well," he started, a little frightened, "like I said, I can't remember our Maker telling us we had to make New Year's resolutions. So anybody doesn't like them doesn't have to make them, do they?" he asked almost apologetically. "But for all that's been said, I still can't see what's wrong with them. I kind of like the idea of resolving to be a better kid for my Maker. After all He has done for me – giving me my mom and dad, giving me food to eat, giving me friends to play with, and oh so much more. He is always doing so much for me. I just want to do more for Him. That's all I want to say," he said as he stepped back behind Jabber.

Everybody was silent. Whether it was their imaginations or not, it seemed to them all, that as little Gomer finished his speech, that the light that spilled from the bright moon that night especially flooded the rock that Jabber and little Gomer stood on, almost as if Divine approval was being given. They were all awed by the wisdom of this little he-goat. They were ashamed too, that they didn't see the opportunity to love their Creator back by resolving to be better animals.

Then, all of a sudden, like a dam bursting, all the animals began to neigh and bark and oink and chirp and bleat and caw and moo and trumpet great approval. They cheered and they cheered little Gomer. And they cheered some more. What was before a group of grumpy, scowling, murmuring animals became a troop of happy, laughing, cheering and cheerful animals all excited about making their New Year's resolutions. The celebration and joy went on through the night until the wee hours of the morning. And to this day, it cannot be said that animals do not like to make New Year's resolutions. Thanks to a little kid.

– Copyright 1979 by Bill Clemons

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